Aunt Leesa and her purse

OK - In the case that you don't know my Aunt Leesa - here's a little background. She's a great Aunt - very cautious, is frequently accused of being OCD because she thinks everything in the fridge is expired and makes my mom smell things before she eats it. She has never had children...until this year when she added 2 Korean exchange students in the mix. And to make it a bit more interesting...they are boys! So this quick transition to motherhood has really thrown her for a loop.
In her previous life her purse and wallet were always sorted and clean, she knew and rememberd all important dates and kept a really clean house - but could never understand why my mom (mother of 2) was always forgetting things, spilling her purse all over the place and slightly lacking in the organization.
So...with all that said - here's the e-mail that my Aunt Leesa sent to me this week...and p.s. she types in all caps like she writes in all caps!

COULD YOU HELP ME STRAIGHTEN OUT MY DOLLAR BILLS, I SEEM TO BE HAVING TROUBLE KEEPING MY CRAP IN ORDER, I HAVE SUNK TO A NEW LOW, AND AM THE RECIPIENT OF "THE SCREWED UP POCKET BOOK AWARD" ATTACHED IS A PICTURE OF MY MONEY, YOU WILL FIND IN THIS ORDER...A FIVE DOLLAR BILL WITH A BIG SLIT IN IT, STUCK TO A PIECE OF GUM, THAT WAS CHEWED AND WRAPPED UP IN THE USED WRAPPER, STUCK TO A MAXI PAD THAT HAS A PENNY HANGING IN THE CORNER OF THE RIPPED COVER. THIS IS NOT A SET UP, THESE ITEMS WERE FOUND IN THIS CONDITION WHEN I WAS LOOKING FOR SOME MONEY I DONT THINK THAT THE DRIVE IN WINDOW WOULD UNDERSTAND IF I TRIED TO USE THE FIVE DOLLARS. """""CAN YOU HELP ME""""
Gotta love it!
M